19351005 09:22:05

19351005 09:22:05

MT-N-7316

"Helen! Get up already! It's almost ten!"
She mumbled to herself as she anchored her heels against the side of the bed to drag her body to its edge before sitting upward to remove herself from it. Her first instinct was to look over to the corner of the room by the window where she left the paper grocery sack from the night before. Her eyes weren't adjusted to the sunlight in the room so she couldn't tell if any of the blood on the clothes within the bag had seeped through. Her Mom now stood in the room with her back to it as she yelled at Helen for being out of the house overnight again and began to carry on about other complaints. The tone of her voice was the same as she used when she would get into extended altercations with her Dad through the long nights. Helen paid no attention to the ranting in the least. After what had happened last night, she knew that this was basically the last time that she could be in this house for a while - possibly forever, if her parents were evicted while she was gone - and she needed to quickly decide what she would take with her and how to go about making a grand exit. The drawers. She would empty the clothes in the drawers onto the paper sack so that she could scoop it up as she left. Where would this all go into? Not a suitcase. Not multiple paper bags, it had to be something singular and large. Nothing in her closet. Her parent's room? She suddenly remembered that there was a large drawstring laundry bag that was kept in the hall closet for when they needed to do laundromat runs. That would suffice. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she felt her Mom's voice fade away out of her consciousness. She focused on reaching that point of serenity again which she had found last night. It came.
"I have had it! I can't live here any more! I am sick and God damned tired of you screaming at me all the fucking time and fighting with Dad and being useless! That's what you are - useless! And you try to push it on me, you always have! Always! And I'm done!"
"Helen! You shall not speak to-"
"I will speak to you however the fuck I want now! I don't give a shit at all! At all!" Helen pushed her body against the finger that her mother pointed towards her as she began to spoke, and advanced upon her, which caused her mother to reflexively take a few steps backwards in retreat. Helen pressed her face against her mother's ear and growled as she spoke. "I'm done! I'm going to take these clothes and I am going to leave this shithole of a house and I will never see you again! Whatever I don't take, throw it out or sell it for more fucking booze for all I fucking care! Or cram it up your ass!" Helen then stepped to the side of her mother to reach for the top dresser drawer and snapped it free, but was unable to keep a hold on it before it fell to the ground and split at the corner seam before she was able to hold it upright and turn the contents upside down onto the paper sack. She grunted to steady herself as she took out the remaining drawers and was able to empty them with more control. Helen marched off to the hall closet, found the laundry bag on a shelf within it, and returned to her room. She stopped in the doorway to her room as she saw her mother staring back in the same position as she had left her, with her face having taken on an ashen pallor and her eyes becoming glazed and watery.
"How can you do this to me? How can you hurt me like this?" Her mother's question was spoken in a volume barely above a whisper and came through choked pockets of air within her throat. Helen felt her mind begin to slip and her throat to constrict upon itself for a brief moment after seeing her mother in this state. She realized that she still needed to work on controlling her emotions. Her eyes closed, then she curled her lips over her teeth and bit down as she squeezed her hands into fists with enough force to make them tremble. Helen forced herself to emit a gurgling growl which grew to a ragged scream.
"That's the question I wanted to ask you all of my fucking life! You and Dad hurt me every fucking night! Every night! Now get the fuck out of my way!" Helen threw the bag onto the pile of clothes, then pulled her mother to the side and knelt down to start shoving clothes into the bag as quickly as her hands could allow. She made a point to get the paper sack shoved into the laundry bag with her initial handful. The only sound in the room was the friction of the clothes being dragged and grabbed from the ground and shoved into the bag. Once it had ballooned and became full, Helen snapped the drawstring tight and held it over her shoulder as she stood upright. She strained under the weight and huffed breath through her nostrils to force her back to remain erect. She stood at the side of her mother and kept her head faced forward while she turned her eyes to the side to look upon her for the final time.
"Go fuck yourself." Helen hissed this insult through clenched teeth and felt droplets of spit fly from her lips as it came out. Her mother remained silently standing and unmoved, but two streams of tears had streaked down the sides of her cheeks. She made it through the front door and down the street with her scowl in place, but struggled to keep her composure once she had made it to the end of the block.